What the world needs...

You all know I am sentimental and idealistic and I hope to a certain extent that I will always be this way. If you could change the world and were given the chance to would you? I recently watched an excerpt of "The Great Dictator" and I was deeply moved by the last speech which I just want to share with you. This view has changed my world.

 

  

 

I'm sorry but I don't want to be an emperor. That's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible; Jew, Gentile, black men, white. We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each others' happiness, not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone. And the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way.

Greed has poisoned men's souls; has barricaded the world with hate; has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge as made us cynical; our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost. The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in man; cries out for universal brotherhood; for the unity of us all.

Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world, millions of despairing men, women, and little children, victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people. To those who can hear me, I say "Do not despair." The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish.

Soldiers! Don't give yourselves to brutes, men who despise you and enslave you; who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel! Who drill you, diet you, treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder! Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men---machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines! You are not cattle! You are men! You have a love of humanity in your hearts! You don't hate! Only the unloved hate; the unloved and the unnatural.

Soldiers! Don't fight for slavery! Fight for liberty! In the seventeenth chapter of St. Luke, it’s written “the kingdom of God is within man”, not one man nor a group of men, but in all men! In you! You, the people, have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness! You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure. Then in the name of democracy, let us use that power.

Let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give youth a future and old age a security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power. But they lie! They do not fulfill their promise. They never will! Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people! Now let us fight to fulfill that promise! Let us fight to free the world! To do away with national barriers! To do away with greed, with hate and intolerance! Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men’s happiness.

Soldiers, in the name of democracy, let us all unite!

 

xo

The power of letting go

As I write this post, I just have to warn you my head is literally all over the place with millions of thoughts swimming through my mind at a nano second so if I digress please bear with me.

To say the last few weeks have been a challenge is a complete understatement. As I write this my head keeps replaying the episode I just had with a really old white lady who smelled like she had soiled her pants. I was sitting comfortably at Exclusive Books, reading Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie with a cup of tea, desperately seeking some peace and quiet and the chance to clear my head. Perhaps I was sitting a little too comfortably as I had my feet perched up on the leather seat, the little old lady who smelled like poop ended up sitting right next to me and felt it pertinent to tell me that I should move my feet as I was going make her pants dirty! I looked at her, taking in the pink blush she had applied to her wrinkled and cracked cheeks, then I responded by saying that my feet were far from her pants and that her pants were already dirty! "You people do whatever you want, don't you?" She retorted. I followed her comment with a simple Yes.

I had to accept some truths about life, people and about myself. I have learnt several things about myself this weekend. Firstly, I have built up quite a reputation for being a "yes man", secondly I am compassionate to a fault and lastly I hold on to things and people unnecessarily.

I am the reliable friend, if you are in a bind, need to be picked up, got your keys locked in the car, I am probably one of the first people you will think to call. I am happy to help where I can, yes sometimes I will make an unhappy face, but I will be there. So that obviously means a lot of saying yes and people not understanding when I have to say no. Me saying no then often leads to my conscience plaguing me like a stuck record with the words "you really could have said yes" tormenting me!

The problem is I am just as tormented when I have agreed to offer my time, energy and effort and be there to support my "person" in distress. The words that haunt me in this instance are "why did you say yes?"! Reason being is I have a very independent spirit and I have always believed that if I want something done I have to do it myself, help is something I don't even know how to ask for! It's never something I have ever known how to do.I know I'm writing in a very circular way but like I said please bear with me.

I said "yes" several times this weekend when I really should have said no, emphatically so! The result was I spent the whole weekend feeling drained physically and emotionally, angry with myself and questioning my decisions.

I looked for the root of my compulsive yes man syndrome and its because I'm compassionate and nurturing by nature. Seeing someone I care about struggle, suffer, or go through something painful is not something I can ever be ok with, especially if I can help even in a small way. It just pains me to my soul that my compassion and nurturing spirit is seldom returned and is often taken advantage of. As was the case this weekend on several occasions which I will not get into. In fact the last few months if I am truly honest have just been a kick to the groin!

Because of my "yes man" syndrome and my fault-riddled compassion I have been holding onto things and people for so long. Things and people who let go of me a long time ago. Friends, family, harsh words exchanged, incidents where no regard was had for my feelings, regrets, I could go on forever.

I'm done with living in my misery. I'm done feeling guilty about saying no, I'm done being angry with myself for the times I have said yes when I should have said no, I'm tired of giving myself to people and situations where my feelings are of little or no concern, I'm done with self-sacrificing and I'm done fighting with racist old ladies who reek of shit... or sitting next to them for that matter!

I am choosing to just let go of all of the unnecessary and be selfish with myself,  my time, my efforts, my love, my life...

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That's the thing about love

"Oh, tell me that I am not the only one going through it all? Oh, sometimes I feel like I'm the only one going through it all!"... A line from one of my favourite Alicia Keys' songs "That's the thing about Love". This love thing though! It's just such a source of confusion at this stage in my life. Perhaps let me clarify what I mean, I am confused about this elusive 'romantic love' thing, I have plenty of love in my life from my family and friends right down to my job and my interests outside of my 9 to 5 and of course the greatest love of all, God. Its just this romantic love thing, I simply don't get it.

I have a few friends who are in the throws of this interesting stage of life where they are past the age of 25, single, career-focused and happy but if Prince Charming showed up on his white horse tomorrow, honestly, at this stage just any plain old white vehicle... in fact just a vehicle, they would give away all of that single girl freedom just to experience a real and true love.

I don't want to go into too much detail about myself but I'm torn between three scenarios. An awesome man who truly loves me, a charming unconventional man who comes with some very unconventional circumstances whom I can see myself being madly in love with and Myself, holding on to the person I have spent so long developing and nurturing whom I quite simply don't want to let go of!

None of these scenarios ever played out in my head when I imagined my fairytale love story and what my life would be like at 28 years old. I find myself going through the most random Google searches with even stranger results... "How do you know if he is the one?", "How to date an older man?"... I mean??? What I think I want versus What I actually need!

This post isn't about getting answers or giving advice, it's just a tiny SOS from my heart to the ears of heaven.

If all else fails I can carry on pouring my love out the best way I know how... shoes!

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I finally did it...

So I finally cut my hair! I finally did the BC and funny enough it wasn’t nearly the harrowing experience I had thought it would be when I first started toying with the idea  of chopping off my locks. I cut it in early January but because I was changing jobs and I didn’t want to grow this change while changing jobs, so I had some braids in.

Brand New Me



My "in the meantime look" before I let my hair out



I am super happy with how it turned out and I love my new look.

For one of those days at work...

I am having one of those weeks at work where you don't even know whether you are coming or going. We are currently caught in a rainstorm of deals that must close within the month. That means a lot of late nights, it doesn't help that I don't feel too great healthwise...

 

So today I am not going to talk about my hair or my dreams...

 

I just want to say that I really don't like my job today... that's all!

 

 

This too shall pass...

To my niece...

Dear Soraya... you don't have an official name yet but this was my pick so for now that's what I will call you

 

Today is your grand debut into this world, excited doesn't even begin to describe how I feel. I haven't even met you yet but my heart is literally bursting with love for you. I can't wait to see your sweet little face and hold you in my arms. I can't wait to watch you grow and to see you flourish into a woman of grace and integrity. Know that you are adored beyond all measure.

 

You don't know it yet but I am your very cool aunt. I am going to spoil you rotten and we are going to be bosom buddies. Sleepovers, manicures and pedicures, shopping trips, overseas trips, hair, make-up and clothes, its going to be great.  Get this, the name which I chose for you actually means "Princess"  or "Gem" in Arabic which is exactly what you are.

 

While you were still in your mommy's belly kicking it, your mom told me that she thinks you may have my personality, wild, crazy and opinionated. That made my heart melt and I immediately felt a deeper sense of responsibility towards you. Then when I found out that you were a girl, I wont lie, I was a bit nervous for you because as a girl life is testing to say the least, the world will try and pull you into all kinds of directions, trying to tell you who and how and what to be.

 

As your aunt, on this day, I want you to know that you can be as beautiful, smart, funny, sweet, ambitious, sensitive or moody as you want to be. I don't ever want you to get caught up in the opinions and views of other people and who they think or tell you that you are or can be... not even me. I don't ever want you to feel confined to any particular way of thinking that isn't entirely your own. You can be anything you want to be and you can do whatever you want to do... provided of course that it will uplift and propel you towards your life's purpose. Know that you are perfect the way you are and that you are more than enough.

 

I am telling you all these things because no one ever said these things to me. I don't want you to go through some of the things I went through. I don't want feelings of insecurity to cripple you the way that they have crippled me. I want you to be confident, brave, strong and committed to the choices you make in life. A life of self-doubt, indecision and anxiety will not be your reality for so long as I can help it. Yes, I will not be able to protect you from everything but I will always try.

 

I want you to know that you are coming into a family that isn't always conventional and we have our hang-ups but it all comes from a place of love. We might not always understand you but we will always care about you and whatever you are going through, you have a big audience! You have two very cool grandparents, a strict but loving Mom, a fun-loving Dad, a stubborn but adoring older brother and a host of aunties, uncles and cousins.

 

Over and above the love you will receive from me and the rest of the family, there is a much bigger, greater love that you are also given freely and that is the love of Jesus. I am going to teach you about who he is and how incredible he is. He is the greatest love you will ever know. He has known you from the time you were formed in your mommy's tummy, he already knows the number of hairs on your head and he is the key to life. He says you are fearfully and wonderfully made, isn't that amazing!

 

I love you so much Princess

 

Love

 

Aunty BeBe

 

xoxo

 

 

Grown Woman Body

So ya'll know that weight has been a contentious issue for me this year right? Bearing that in mind, I have been trying to watch what I eat and not over indulge although I had a massive burger and fries for lunch...Fridays are cheat days. I have been going back and forth about this weight thing in my head, no lie!

 

Truth, there are parts of my body that I don't love... like my belly and my arms... that don't look great right now and could do with some work. I find that because of my honesty about my body hang-ups I end up discovering more and more body parts that I feel are less than great right now, for example my legs. The other day this lady says to me "Wow you have nice big legs". In my mind that is a bit of an oxymoron but the irony is that I have been told that on several occasions by various people... mostly family.

 

In the same week, I was in the canteen at work ordering a salad and one of my colleagues was like "Working on that summer body I see". I shrugged off his comments but he insisted on speaking to me about running and working out, to which I confessed my laziness. He then said to me "wait until your man tells you that you are fat, I am pretty sure you will start running then!" So my response naturally was "I wish a n***** would tell me I am fat!"

 

I went back to my desk and I thought about how "my big legs" were admired by some and hated by others, no wonder I don't always know how to feel about my legs and the rest of my body because so many people are constantly in my ear about body image. Every year I say I am going to take ownership over my body but I don't think my execution of this is anything to write home about.

 

Solution: I need someone in my life to be brutal with me about exercise and have me kicking and screaming with rage as I run up a hill provided of course all remnants of my belly and jiggly arms will be eradicated. I think that is when I'll take my body back from all the thought infiltrators. I am DONE!

 

From one big-legged woman to another, walk with a vengeance!

 

 

*New Feature* Blogger Lust

I have decided to take my passion for blog stalking and make it a feature on my blog. My friends are always asking me where do I find all these cool people on my blog hunts and I actually don't really have a methodology, I just sort of stumble upon them. So I thought why not share links to some awesome reading and even more awesome people.

 

First up and this was a tough choice...

 

*Urban Bush Babes*

 

 

An online publication featuring two best friends and passionistas creating the definitive source for natural hair, fashion, health arts & culture while living in NYC. Nikisha and Cipriana are two amazingly beautiful women with style, grace, edge and the most gorgeous long natural hair. They write openly about what having natural hair means to them and how they navigate their way in this world that has such defined standards of beauty, as natural haired girls.

 

Meet Nikisha...

 

This gorgeous lady speaks so honestly and openly about her life, her beliefs her mistakes and her triumphs and is literally using her life story as a way to help others. She speaks candidly about falling pregnant at 16, being in abusive relationships and wrestling with identity. She shares her triumphs in achieving her Masters degree in Childhood Education, raising her son Jayden and her life with her husband Carl. Here is an extract from the blog about her:

 

Not too long after at the tender age of 16 I became pregnant. Yes, I was 16 and pregnant! My life had spiralled out of control. The dysfunctional family upbringing, the abuse, the rape, having no father around, and the bullying just left me so damaged. All the way through college I was chronically depressed, had anxiety attacks, attempted suicide, and was in and out of dysfunctional, unhealthy, relationships (physical and verbal abuse, cheating). I had no idea who I was so I attached my identity to anything I thought was cool or positive (my Jamaican heritage, my achievements in school, one day I was from the hood, the next day I was into crystals and New Age stuff).

 

Eventually I got tired of the depression, tired of the anxiety and panic attacks, tired of being in dysfunctional relationships, tired of being a lousy mom. I had come to the end of myself and dropped to my knees and cried out to God for help. I asked Him to take all my burdens, I asked Him to open my eyes, and I told Him I would be obedient to what ever He told me. That day changed my life forever. Now I live a life committed to Jesus and I am not ashamed of my messed up past because he has taken it all and has given me more than I deserve. He blessed me with a God fearing husband, my complimentary half whom I admire and respect very much. He has restored my relationship with my son, and now Jaden is thriving like never before and I feel so blessed! God has really used the pain from my past for a purpose and I have learned a lot along the way.

 

 

 

Meet Cipriana...

 

This super cool girl was scouted as a model and has been seen gracing covers, billboards and campaigns including being the face of Cover Girl cosmetics. She is all New York, edgy, cool and sophisticated. Cipriana will represent Carol’s Daughter as their brand ambassador, face of ARDENCY INN cosmetics and GAP’s ‘Back To Blue’ Fall/Winter 2013 Campaign. She gives readers a glimpse of her life in NYC and writes candidly about her adventures in the city.

 

It is the rise after the fall that displays our true will power, failure is a part of life but your journey no matter what it may concern does not stop because of them and as an Urban Bush Babe I feel we can show individuals it is really our “imperfections” and uniqueness that not only make us beautiful but showcase our strength.” -Cipriana

 

 

I am so in love with these two, be sure to check out Urban Bush Babes here, I guarantee to you will not be sorry...

 

XO

Transition Mission...

So, last week after I started my castor oil challenge, it hit me hard that I have been going about this transitioning thing the wrong way! As in totally wrong... all the way wrong! I was convinced that I could literally have my hair in protective syles for a few months, get it washed and dried (with heat) in between all of that and just let it grow out and I would have a head of grogeous natural hair. Turns out for proper transition effects, there needs to be a lot of moisturising/oiling, treating, washing, air-drying and a whole mixed bag of products. Ok so now I know and this is becoming a little bit harder than I had imagined.

 

To show you just how off I was on what to do with my hair, the one night while trying to come up with a hair regimen, I attempted to treat my hair. I used Castor oil and Bergamot Essence on my scalp ensuring my the roots were well moisturised. I then put on a plastic shower cap and wrapped my head with my silk scarf. I woke up the next day showered, got dressed, put on my face and then removed my head gear...! I looked like I had a over processed jerry-curl...#TheHorror! My relaxed ends were so greasy and limp and gross looking! There was some good that came out of it in all the frying the hairdresser did in order to make my hair straight was undone. My natural hair looks gorgeous, coily and rich, I literally can't wait to chop off the relaxed ends, they have become the bane of my existence!

 

So once I was enlightened, I hopped off to my local pharmacy and came home with an arsenal of products!

 

 

From left to right:

1. Organics conditioner for dry and damaged hair
2. Organic Root Stimulator Jojoba oil
3. Dischem brand Castor Oil
4. Dischem Brand Coconut Oil
5. Lennon's Bergamot Essence oil
6. Water spray bottle (closest thing I could get to a mist spray)
7. Chi Ionic Color Protector System sulphate free shampoo
8. Organic Root Stimulator Hair Mayonnaise  

I must be honest though, transitioning hair is hard to love, my hair is in limbo! Half relaxed, half natural... its really not cute. I attempted to do a flat twist out the other day to look cute at church but only the relaxed ends curled. My hair looked so weird that I literally combed out the curls. I put on a plastic head band to try make it look decent and halfway through the sermon the headband broke!!!

 

Anywhoo, I will live... in the meantime I have worked out a regimen

 

Monday:

• Moisturise with Castor Oil and Bergamot essence, sealing with Coconut oil
• Wrap with silk scarf

Tuesday:

• Treatment by applying a mixture of Castor oil, Olive oil and Bergamot essence, sealing with Coconut oil
• Plastic cap
• Wrap with silk scarf

Wednesday:

Moisturise with Castor Oil and Bergamot essence, sealing with Coconut oil
Wrap with silk scarf

Thursday:

• Moisturise with Castor Oil and Bergamot essence, sealing with Coconut oil
• Wrap with silk scarf

Friday:

• Pre-wash by applying a mixture of Castor oil, Olive oil and Bergamot essence, sealing with Jojoba oil
• Plastic cap
• Wrap with silk scarf

Saturday:

• Wash day
• Deep condition with Hair Mayonnaise
• Moisturise mixture of Castor oil, Olive oil and Bergamot essence, sealing with Jojoba oil

Sunday:

• Break 

Lets see how it goes...

 

XO

 

Operation: Save That Hair

So this weekend I finally got around to undoing my hair, I know I had it in FOREVER! I am not sure if I have mentioned this before or whether I have made it clear, but besides the fact that I really love the natural hair look the other reason I am going to be chopping off my locks is because my hair is really damaged, as in REALLY damaged.

 

It's really weak and brittle and just lifeless at the moment, I took scissors to it and cut off all the uneven bits however I just don't think it is possible to salvage it at this point so I am on my transition mission. There are some major issues with my hairline and my edges.

 

 Here is what my hair looked like in the morning after I had taken my braids out:


My hair before I washed it, look how damaged my edges are!



Not to toot my own horn, but I think curly kinky hair looks cute on me and look how happy I look in spite of all the damage

Later that day after I washed my hair and had my scalp fried by the dryer!!!



I do not like my hair looking like this, note how sad I look

 

 

I was talking to my friend Tiyani who was also complaining about damage to her own hair and how she was going to to start using Castor oil to treat her hair. I have heard so many people talking about the benefits of using Castor oil to treat damaged hair but I didn't think much of it. Tiyani and I have both been on this hair mission and we've been going back and forth about BC, transitioning, curl activators a whole lot of stuff, so when she told me about the 30 Day Challenge that Aphro posted on her blog I knew I had to do some proper research and stop thinking about it but rather just do it!

 

 

 

I hopped off to my local pharmacy and got myself the biggest bottle of Castor oil I could find and I followed Aphro's instructions. I am currently on two challenges, firstly the 30 Day Challenge and the Hairline Challenge. The Hairline Challenge is basically where you apply small amounts of Castor oil to your hairline every day with a tail comb and massage it into the hair. The 30 Day Challenge is where you apply small amounts of Castor oil all over your scalp and massage it into your scalp 3 days a week in conjunction with a good moisturiser and sealer. My Castor oil nights will be Sundays, Tuesdays and Fridays.

 

I am really excited to try this out and I am giving it a good 3 months before I expect to see some solid results.

 

Let's see how it goes!

 

xo

These are my confessions...

Confession time!!! I think I am losing my mind!!! I have come to this conclusion after spending most of the morning (on my job) doing what I have become infamous for doing, looking at other people enjoying life! I love blog hunting and reading about what amazing women out there are doing. I oooh and aaah until I literally sink into a depression cuz in those moments I am sitting at my desk, bored, with a stack of files piling up next to me, completely uninterested in what I am doing, praying my boss won't find me not working, also praying that I can continue to blog hunt undisturbed! Like where are my priorities???

 

Today was pretty much the same, I found some amazing women with amazing dreams, amazing style, amazing hair, amazing everything...

 

I found all this magic today...

 

Two best friends who created a community for women to connect, encourage and inspire one another. Around the Way Curls is an online publication that infuses pop culture and issues of women’s interest with an emphasis on the beauty, originality and spirit of naturally kinky, curly hair. With hair as the catalyst, they work hard to deliberately re-define what beauty is and to re-condition women not only to embrace their natural state of being, but to value their individual uniqueness and overall worth. They want every woman to know that it is our birthright to be beautiful.

 

Check them out here

 

Then I found these two Incredible sisters Jade and Jas, who live in Philadelphia and are both uber creative, stylish and very pretty. Jas is an incredible photographer and a curly haired girl (which we love) Jade has the most incredible story, she was diagnosed with a serious heart condition and she chronicles her feelings and thoughts and experiences as she recovers. Being sick made her view life differently and tackle all the things we are so often too afraid to. So this amazing young lady has begun recording her first album and from the little I have heard she is awesome!

 

 

Check out Jade and Jas' blog here

 

So while I was busy doing what I always do, getting caught up in other people's lives, I found this article on Curls Around the Way, "Why we may be unhappy: Why Generation Y Yuppies Are Unhappy" which is an excerpt from Wait but why on Huffington Post.

 

Here is a little bit of what the article said:

 

Say hi to Lucy.

 

Lucy is part of Generation Y, the generation born between the late 1970s and the mid 1990s. She's also part of a yuppie culture that makes up a large portion of Gen Y.

 

I have a term for yuppies in the Gen Y age group -- I call them Gen Y Protagonists & Special Yuppies, or GYPSYs. A GYPSY is a unique brand of yuppie, one who thinks they are the main character of a very special story.

 

So Lucy's enjoying her GYPSY life, and she's very pleased to be Lucy. Only issue is this one thing:

Lucy's kind of unhappy.

 

To get to the bottom of why, we need to define what makes someone happy or unhappy in the first place. It comes down to a simple formula:

 

 

The gist of the article is that as Gen Y's we have this sense of entitlement and our expectations of our career and all the things that come with being a young professional are extremely high, and that our expectations are never met and the reality of our lives isn't at all what we had envisioned. I identified so much with the Lucy, because like her, my expectations of what my life would be like and what the reality is are two very different things and it has led to me feeling frustrated and unhappy at times.

 

There is this bit in the article where they talk about how us Gen Y's are taunted by by a modern phenomenon Facebook Image Crafting. Which basically means:
Social media creates a world for Lucy where A) what everyone else is doing is very out in the open, B) most people present an inflated version of their own existence, and C) the people who chime in the most about their careers are usually those whose careers (or relationships) are going the best, while struggling people tend not to broadcast their situation. This leaves Lucy feeling, incorrectly, like everyone else is doing really well, only adding to her misery. The truth is her peers are in exactly the same boat! Read the rest here.



It made me think about myself and I found so much of who I am, my thinking and my habits in this article. I am that girl who spends hours on Facebook looking at what everybody is up to, which one of my online friend's has an awesome job? who has been jet-setting and travelling? who had awesome wedding pictures? who is on their second kid? It drives me a little bit nuts sometimes. Ok a lot nuts! And then to top it off I blog hunt and read thousands of posts about women living their best lives, a painful reminder that I am currently not living my best life, I am watching everyone else do that!

After reading the article I didn't know what to do with myself and I found myself asking myself questions like should I stop Facebooking? Stop blog hunting? Stop blogging? All very anxiety inducing!

The answer is not that I should stop my social media habits but rather to wait on God, He is after all the creator and the author of time, my moment in the sun is coming.

I found encouragement and comfort in these words...

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.        
Proverbs 3:5-6

The Lord is not slow to fulfil his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.
2 Peter 3:9

Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.        
Isaiah 30:18

And that's exactly what I am going to do.

xo

A weighty problem continued...

So remember how I was getting ready for a wedding and I had planned to lose weight so that I could fit into this little number?

Did not happen!!! The dress zips up a little bit further than before but still nowhere close to hiding my lady bits. I am not going to stop trying though, I am still hopeful.

 

I ended up buying a new dress but at a very low key boutique in Johannesburg CBD for a pittance!Can you believe I got this dress for R200 which is roughly USD 20!

Baby got back!

Insta Queen
 

Here is my friend Thandi in the same dress but in white. She is always putting me on these amazing stores that sell awesome clothes at ridiculous prices!

 

I don't have a lot of pictures from the wedding because my camera wouldn't work and on top of that both my cellphone batteries were flat! Here are some pics I managed to muster together from the wedding.

I almost forgot, the week of the actual wedding, I was checking out the invite and in teeny weeny print, the couple asked very kindly for guests not to wear white as a courtesy! Thank goodness I was too fat for my other dress because firstly I would be mortified and secondly I would have been that person who defied the wishes of the bridal couple!

 

Newlyweds

Congratulations once again to Franklin and Amanda, may you have a lifetime of happy memories ahead!

 

xo

 

Impulse buying - the worst kind of evil!

So I recently put up a post about great skincare and of all the tips I put up I only do about half...pathetic I know, but like I said, it's a work in progress.

 

In terms of the things I am doing right, I am proud to say diet is one of them. I have been really good with things like not eating sweets and chocolate, eating lots of fruit and vegetables, cutting down on bad carbs and drinking lots of water...well, more water than I would normally drink, which was never!

 

The other thing I did right was buy a good primer, I actually bought this primer...

As recommended in my previous post

 

I bought it on impulse after doing some general research. I have to say the results have been amazing, my makeup stays on the the entire day which I love. Even with my oily skin, I now don't have to constantly powder up my face to get a matte effect.

 

 

So the other day whilst shopping for cosmetics, I stumbled upon some BB creams. I have heard a lot about these little miracles in a tube from friends and from the internet but I hadn't really researched much about it. With summer around the corner, I don't like having my face caked in makeup because it gets so hot and my skin gets really oily and clogged up, summer in general is not a good time for my skin. I knew BB creams are a great substitute for foundation with much lighter but effective coverage.

 

I stumbled upon Rimmel's 9 in 1 light BB cream. I really like Rimmel products, they have great eyeliner, mascara, lipsticks and lip glosses plus one of their brand ambassadors is my beloved Solange Knowles, so I figured this must be a good product and on impulse bought it. WRONG!!!

 

 

Here's why:

 

Firstly and most contentiously, they only have three shades which excludes my skin tone. I picked the darkest which is medium to dark and let me tell you, once I applied it to my entire face, I looked crazy!!! Even the darkest shade is way too light for my skin, so much so I had to cake on some pressed powder to make myself look like a normal black person again!!! 

 

Secondly, this whole 9 in 1 thing is a gross exaggeration, the product claims to do the following:

• Primes
• Moisturizes
• Minimizes Pores
• Conceals
• Covers
• Smoothes
• Mattifies
• Brightens
• Protects skin

The results:

• My skin was not makeup ready
• My skin felt extremely greasy
• My pores have never looked bigger
• Before I even left the house I had to apply more pressed powder to my T-zone and had to continue doing so for the rest of the day!
• In terms of coverage I could still see spots and dark marks in spite of my face looking grey
• I was a greasy, shiny mess all day!!!
 

Lastly, the point of BB creams is to give you lighter coverage without having to apply normal heavier makeup. Once I had applied the cream and all that pressed powder, my face was so full of makeup, you could literally scrape it off with a spoon! Not cool!!!

 

Basically the product did not deliver on any of it's promises! This makes me really mad at Rimmel for this false advertising and even more mad at myself for not having done my homework properly and for shopping on impulse!

 

I lost the receipt so I can't take this cream back or get my money back. I am officially done with BB creams, I don't think it is possible for one product to do what several products already do so well. As the old adage goes, "If it seems too good to be true, it probably is". If any chocolate sisters out there are currently using a good BB cream that they are happy with, please feel free to give me a shout.

 

xo