Frankly speaking...

I have taken a self-imposed hiatus from blogging for a few weeks now. It started off as a writer's block thing where I was really lacking inspiration to write about anything then a dear friend of mine became really sick and was basically fighting for her life. It became really hard for me to blog about clothes and makeup and hair when real life things were happening around me.

 

I tried to explain how I felt to some of my friends but no one really understood what I was trying to say, I even got some really crappy, sarcastic responses like "So you aren't going to blog forever because your friend is sick?".

 

In this hiatus period more real life things kept happening. I witnessed an amazing couple tie the knot at a lovely ceremony, one of my cousins gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and then a lot of grey clouds gathered in my coffee. My beloved grandmother passed away and literally a few days later one of my uncles passed away that same week. I was literally grief stricken. It's made think about my life and where I am going and how most of the things that I hope to find happiness in are all temporary. 

 

What I mean by that is we seek validation in things like romantic love and when you find that special someone, your life will all of a sudden have deeper meaning but that person will one day die and after building a life with that person, who are you now that they are gone? Or people find a deeper meaning to life in having children but at some point those children grow up and will live their own lives and they wont need you. I have spent the last three years chasing this lawyer/career thing and its been such a harrowing experience and even when I eventually find success (positive affirmation) I am going to have to retire one day or hand over the reigns of my empire to someone more capable. All temporary things that we spend our whole lives seeking any sort of validation.

Very morbid, I know! I also know that you can't live your life waiting for bad things to happen because then you end up missing all the good things and you never give yourself the space to appreciate the incredible things that are happening in your life. Things you have to remind yourself about when you are sad...

I am back now and this time off has been good time off to reflect and think about my life and now I am just going to live...

This is my "I don't know what the hell I am doing" pose which is pretty much the way my life is in general... Don't know what I am doing but I am going to do it anyway!

Life is indeed for living...

xo