Tuesday, 29 October 2013

For one of those days at work...

I am having one of those weeks at work where you don't even know whether you are coming or going. We are currently caught in a rainstorm of deals that must close within the month. That means a lot of late nights, it doesn't help that I don't feel too great healthwise...
So today I am not going to talk about my hair or my dreams...
I just want to say that I really don't like my job today... that's all!



This too shall pass...

Friday, 25 October 2013

To my niece...

Dear Soraya... you don't have an official name yet but this was my pick so for now that's what I will call you
Today is your grand debut into this world, excited doesn't even begin to describe how I feel. I haven't even met you yet but my heart is literally bursting with love for you. I can't wait to see your sweet little face and hold you in my arms. I can't wait to watch you grow and to see you flourish into a woman of grace and integrity. Know that you are adored beyond all measure.
You don't know it yet but I am your very cool aunt. I am going to spoil you rotten and we are going to be bosom buddies. Sleepovers, manicures and pedicures, shopping trips, overseas trips, hair, make-up and clothes, its going to be great.  Get this, the name which I chose for you actually means "Princess"  or "Gem" in Arabic which is exactly what you are.
While you were still in your mommy's belly kicking it, your mom told me that she thinks you may have my personality, wild, crazy and opinionated. That made my heart melt and I immediately felt a deeper sense of responsibility towards you. Then when I found out that you were a girl, I wont lie, I was a bit nervous for you because as a girl life is testing to say the least, the world will try and pull you into all kinds of directions, trying to tell you who and how and what to be.
As your aunt, on this day, I want you to know that you can be as beautiful, smart, funny, sweet, ambitious, sensitive or moody as you want to be. I don't ever want you to get caught up in the opinions and views of other people and who they think or tell you that you are or can be... not even me. I don't ever want you to feel confined to any particular way of thinking that isn't entirely your own. You can be anything you want to be and you can do whatever you want to do... provided of course that it will uplift and propel you towards your life's purpose. Know that you are perfect the way you are and that you are more than enough.
I am telling you all these things because no one ever said these things to me. I don't want you to go through some of the things I went through. I don't want feelings of insecurity to cripple you the way that they have crippled me. I want you to be confident, brave, strong and committed to the choices you make in life. A life of self-doubt, indecision and anxiety will not be your reality for so long as I can help it. Yes, I will not be able to protect you from everything but I will always try.
I want you to know that you are coming into a family that isn't always conventional and we have our hang-ups but it all comes from a place of love. We might not always understand you but we will always care about you and whatever you are going through, you have a big audience! You have two very cool grandparents, a strict but loving Mom, a fun-loving Dad, a stubborn but adoring older brother and a host of aunties, uncles and cousins.
Over and above the love you will receive from me and the rest of the family, there is a much bigger, greater love that you are also given freely and that is the love of Jesus. I am going to teach you about who he is and how incredible he is. He is the greatest love you will ever know. He has known you from the time you were formed in your mommy's tummy, he already knows the number of hairs on your head and he is the key to life. He says you are fearfully and wonderfully made, isn't that amazing!
I love you so much Princess
Aunty BeBe

Friday, 18 October 2013

Grown Woman Body

So ya'll know that weight has been a contentious issue for me this year right? Bearing that in mind, I have been trying to watch what I eat and not over indulge although I had a massive burger and fries for lunch...Fridays are cheat days. I have been going back and forth about this weight thing in my head, no lie!
Truth, there are parts of my body that I don't love... like my belly and my arms... that don't look great right now and could do with some work. I find that because of my honesty about my body hang-ups I end up discovering more and more body parts that I feel are less than great right now, for example my legs. The other day this lady says to me "Wow you have nice big legs". In my mind that is a bit of an oxymoron but the irony is that I have been told that on several occasions by various people... mostly family.
In the same week, I was in the canteen at work ordering a salad and one of my colleagues was like "Working on that summer body I see". I shrugged off his comments but he insisted on speaking to me about running and working out, to which I confessed my laziness. He then said to me "wait until your man tells you that you are fat, I am pretty sure you will start running then!" So my response naturally was "I wish a n***** would tell me I am fat!"
I went back to my desk and I thought about how "my big legs" were admired by some and hated by others, no wonder I don't always know how to feel about my legs and the rest of my body because so many people are constantly in my ear about body image. Every year I say I am going to take ownership over my body but I don't think my execution of this is anything to write home about.
Solution: I need someone in my life to be brutal with me about exercise and have me kicking and screaming with rage as I run up a hill provided of course all remnants of my belly and jiggly arms will be eradicated. I think that is when I'll take my body back from all the thought infiltrators. I am DONE!
From one big-legged woman to another, walk with a vengeance!

Wednesday, 9 October 2013

*New Feature* Blogger Lust

I have decided to take my passion for blog stalking and make it a feature on my blog. My friends are always asking me where do I find all these cool people on my blog hunts and I actually don't really have a methodology, I just sort of stumble upon them. So I thought why not share links to some awesome reading and even more awesome people.
First up and this was a tough choice...
An online publication featuring two best friends and passionistas creating the definitive source for natural hair, fashion, health arts & culture while living in NYC. Nikisha and Cipriana are two amazingly beautiful women with style, grace, edge and the most gorgeous long natural hair. They write openly about what having natural hair means to them and how they navigate their way in this world that has such defined standards of beauty, as natural haired girls.
Meet Nikisha...

This gorgeous lady speaks so honestly and openly about her life, her beliefs her mistakes and her triumphs and is literally using her life story as a way to help others. She speaks candidly about falling pregnant at 16, being in abusive relationships and wrestling with identity. She shares her triumphs in achieving her Masters degree in Childhood Education, raising her son Jayden and her life with her husband Carl. Here is an extract from the blog about her:
Not too long after at the tender age of 16 I became pregnant. Yes, I was 16 and pregnant! My life had spiralled out of control. The dysfunctional family upbringing, the abuse, the rape, having no father around, and the bullying just left me so damaged. All the way through college I was chronically depressed, had anxiety attacks, attempted suicide, and was in and out of dysfunctional, unhealthy, relationships (physical and verbal abuse, cheating). I had no idea who I was so I attached my identity to anything I thought was cool or positive (my Jamaican heritage, my achievements in school, one day I was from the hood, the next day I was into crystals and New Age stuff).
Eventually I got tired of the depression, tired of the anxiety and panic attacks, tired of being in dysfunctional relationships, tired of being a lousy mom. I had come to the end of myself and dropped to my knees and cried out to God for help. I asked Him to take all my burdens, I asked Him to open my eyes, and I told Him I would be obedient to what ever He told me. That day changed my life forever. Now I live a life committed to Jesus and I am not ashamed of my messed up past because he has taken it all and has given me more than I deserve. He blessed me with a God fearing husband, my complimentary half whom I admire and respect very much. He has restored my relationship with my son, and now Jaden is thriving like never before and I feel so blessed! God has really used the pain from my past for a purpose and I have learned a lot along the way.

Meet Cipriana...

This super cool girl was scouted as a model and has been seen gracing covers, billboards and campaigns including being the face of Cover Girl cosmetics. She is all New York, edgy, cool and sophisticated. Cipriana will represent Carol’s Daughter as their brand ambassador, face of ARDENCY INN cosmetics and GAP’s ‘Back To Blue’ Fall/Winter 2013 Campaign. She gives readers a glimpse of her life in NYC and writes candidly about her adventures in the city.
It is the rise after the fall that displays our true will power, failure is a part of life but your journey no matter what it may concern does not stop because of them and as an Urban Bush Babe I feel we can show individuals it is really our “imperfections” and uniqueness that not only make us beautiful but showcase our strength.” -Cipriana

I am so in love with these two, be sure to check out Urban Bush Babes here, I guarantee to you will not be sorry...

Transition Mission...

So, last week after I started my castor oil challenge, it hit me hard that I have been going about this transitioning thing the wrong way! As in totally wrong... all the way wrong! I was convinced that I could literally have my hair in protective syles for a few months, get it washed and dried (with heat) in between all of that and just let it grow out and I would have a head of grogeous natural hair. Turns out for proper transition effects, there needs to be a lot of moisturising/oiling, treating, washing, air-drying and a whole mixed bag of products. Ok so now I know and this is becoming a little bit harder than I had imagined.
To show you just how off I was on what to do with my hair, the one night while trying to come up with a hair regimen, I attempted to treat my hair. I used Castor oil and Bergamot Essence on my scalp ensuring my the roots were well moisturised. I then put on a plastic shower cap and wrapped my head with my silk scarf. I woke up the next day showered, got dressed, put on my face and then removed my head gear...! I looked like I had a over processed jerry-curl...#TheHorror! My relaxed ends were so greasy and limp and gross looking! There was some good that came out of it in all the frying the hairdresser did in order to make my hair straight was undone. My natural hair looks gorgeous, coily and rich, I literally can't wait to chop off the relaxed ends, they have become the bane of my existence!
So once I was enlightened, I hopped off to my local pharmacy and came home with an arsenal of products!
From left to right:
  1. Organics conditioner for dry and damaged hair
  2. Organic Root Stimulator Jojoba oil
  3. Dischem brand Castor Oil
  4. Dischem Brand Coconut Oil
  5. Lennon's Bergamot Essence oil
  6. Water spray bottle (closest thing I could get to a mist spray)
  7. Chi Ionic Color Protector System sulphate free shampoo
  8. Organic Root Stimulator Hair Mayonnaise  
I must be honest though, transitioning hair is hard to love, my hair is in limbo! Half relaxed, half natural... its really not cute. I attempted to do a flat twist out the other day to look cute at church but only the relaxed ends curled. My hair looked so weird that I literally combed out the curls. I put on a plastic head band to try make it look decent and halfway through the sermon the headband broke!!!

Anywhoo, I will live... in the meantime I have worked out a regimen
  • Moisturise with Castor Oil and Bergamot essence, sealing with Coconut oil
  • Wrap with silk scarf
  • Treatment by applying a mixture of Castor oil, Olive oil and Bergamot essence, sealing with Coconut oil
  • Plastic cap
  • Wrap with silk scarf
  • Moisturise with Castor Oil and Bergamot essence, sealing with Coconut oil
  • Wrap with silk scarf
  • Moisturise with Castor Oil and Bergamot essence, sealing with Coconut oil
  • Wrap with silk scarf
  • Pre-wash by applying a mixture of Castor oil, Olive oil and Bergamot essence, sealing with Jojoba oil
  • Plastic cap
  • Wrap with silk scarf
  • Wash day
  • Deep condition with Hair Mayonnaise
  • Moisturise mixture of Castor oil, Olive oil and Bergamot essence, sealing with Jojoba oil
  • Break 
Lets see how it goes...